Dirk Strider (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
string_instrument) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thenashira2026-01-11 05:48 pm
string_instrument) wrote in thenashira2026-01-11 05:48 pm
This is a cry for help
Who: Dirk Strider and YOU
What: E-mail on a very important matter
When: Early September, late at night....
Where: Your email inbox
Warnings: Extremely sexual framing for the first couple of paragraphs
[One morning, everyone who actually sleeps will wake up to a mass message from the guy who either says nothing to anyone or......... well, does. This.]
Re: Glitter
It has come to my attention that the assembled knights (that's you) have been engaging in unsafe practises with fetish material, and I'm calling a stop to it. Right now.
I want to preface this with the understanding that I am not a prude. I am not trying to be a joykill, or keep you in the closet, or oppress the freedom of self-expression or pursuit of pleasure in any way. I perhaps better than anyone understand the charge one can get from engaging in openly transgressive art, from crafting oneself into a vision of one's own urges, and--yes--even from taking a little license with boundaries. This new wave of scintillating exhibitionism and its associated expression of creative impulse must be thrilling for you. But enough is enough.
The mass indulgence that's sweeping the city is not only exposing unconsenting parties (that's me) to a violation of common decency, it's smeared every available surface with its glistening leavings and deposited its contaminants into every spare crevice.
I'm going to have to insist on a baseline level of respect for shared spaces.
No. More. Body glitter. In the hideout.
I actually can't believe I even need to say all this, but apparently I do.
And maybe not everyone here is aware, but the glitter doesn't actually stay on YOUR fucking body. It rubs off. It sticks to things. It travels. It is on the couch. On the floor. I find sparkles in my mouth, and on my tongue. It's in my hair. On my fabrics, and in my animatronics, which--by the way--are full of extremely delicate electronic parts. Shit, Nautis is literally a computer. Did you ever ask how she feels about all this? Is this glitter space computer safe? Do you want to risk that?
And even if you don't care about that (at which point I can only assume you're some kind of borderline sociopath. The entire premise of a civilised society relies on the mutual regard of individuals for service to the community and each other. Are we not Nova Knights? Should we not all be--if not better than--at least on the level of the lowest bar of good values and cooperative behaviour? And if not, what right do we have to represent the forces of so-called good in the battle against the Harbingers?), then at least think of Contra. I have had to wipe glitter off his literal eye twice in the past hour. That's downright inhumane.
I am on my goddamn knees here. I'm begging you. All of you. To stop with the body glitter and take a shower, or maybe five, before you come into the hideout and get your goddamn craft chlamydia in any more places, speakable or otherwise.
Okay? Are we cool? Great. Good talk. I'm out.
Nova Pastos
(co-signed by Nova Contra)
What: E-mail on a very important matter
When: Early September, late at night....
Where: Your email inbox
Warnings: Extremely sexual framing for the first couple of paragraphs
[One morning, everyone who actually sleeps will wake up to a mass message from the guy who either says nothing to anyone or......... well, does. This.]
Re: Glitter
It has come to my attention that the assembled knights (that's you) have been engaging in unsafe practises with fetish material, and I'm calling a stop to it. Right now.
I want to preface this with the understanding that I am not a prude. I am not trying to be a joykill, or keep you in the closet, or oppress the freedom of self-expression or pursuit of pleasure in any way. I perhaps better than anyone understand the charge one can get from engaging in openly transgressive art, from crafting oneself into a vision of one's own urges, and--yes--even from taking a little license with boundaries. This new wave of scintillating exhibitionism and its associated expression of creative impulse must be thrilling for you. But enough is enough.
The mass indulgence that's sweeping the city is not only exposing unconsenting parties (that's me) to a violation of common decency, it's smeared every available surface with its glistening leavings and deposited its contaminants into every spare crevice.
I'm going to have to insist on a baseline level of respect for shared spaces.
No. More. Body glitter. In the hideout.
I actually can't believe I even need to say all this, but apparently I do.
And maybe not everyone here is aware, but the glitter doesn't actually stay on YOUR fucking body. It rubs off. It sticks to things. It travels. It is on the couch. On the floor. I find sparkles in my mouth, and on my tongue. It's in my hair. On my fabrics, and in my animatronics, which--by the way--are full of extremely delicate electronic parts. Shit, Nautis is literally a computer. Did you ever ask how she feels about all this? Is this glitter space computer safe? Do you want to risk that?
And even if you don't care about that (at which point I can only assume you're some kind of borderline sociopath. The entire premise of a civilised society relies on the mutual regard of individuals for service to the community and each other. Are we not Nova Knights? Should we not all be--if not better than--at least on the level of the lowest bar of good values and cooperative behaviour? And if not, what right do we have to represent the forces of so-called good in the battle against the Harbingers?), then at least think of Contra. I have had to wipe glitter off his literal eye twice in the past hour. That's downright inhumane.
I am on my goddamn knees here. I'm begging you. All of you. To stop with the body glitter and take a shower, or maybe five, before you come into the hideout and get your goddamn craft chlamydia in any more places, speakable or otherwise.
Okay? Are we cool? Great. Good talk. I'm out.
Nova Pastos
(co-signed by Nova Contra)
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It's fetishistic, sure. A mass consumer craze for covering one's bared skin in eye-catching particulate to be ogled by others? The very act of applying it is sexually charged, nevermind the brazenness of assuming it in public. So there's probably some folks out there for whom it is.
But again, not what I said.
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I also don't want it to be doing what it's doing.
There's only so many showers a girl can take before my skin starts getting raw and I'm actually not a huge fan of that feeling?
I'm doing my absolute best, is all I'm saying.
Also if Nautis gets a little glitter in her then she'll probably be fine.
I'm not gonna check her manual. :P
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I'm agreeing that body glitter is coarse, rough, and gets everywhere, and I'm gonna try my best to prevent tracking it into the hideout.
But I'm also saying that that's a privileged reserved for people who haven't made me wake up screaming recently.
I'm also, in this case, saying that Nautis is a people.
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Well, regardless, i'm hardly going to apply glitter to my breastplate, and my water mode hasn't appeared while I'm hunting yet.
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all my customers wanna see us in shimmersea shimmersea shimmersea and it's SO CUTE and SO PRETTY but it's really stuck on there huh
the only thing I can get it off with is TAPE!!! how about you buy the hide out a lint roller! it's hard out here for a working girl you know
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Oh. Right. I follow now. And that great. I'm glad to hear it.
In fact, this is where I wish I could say this message isn't for or about you and wrap this little chat up, but it turns out secondhand glitter is still glitter.
Good news, though: I got a pretty good idea for a way to tackle this at the entrance. It should only take an hour or two to get it up and ready.
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What do you need?
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[That's never happened before. Ever. In his life.]
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But if all we need is a lint roller or something then you should've said something to me sooner.
I can absolutely get you set up with that.
Industrial strength okay? The kind of thing that could pick a football field clean?
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everywhere
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Anyone with connections in the vast industry of sticky things on sticks.
(I was the only lint roller at a dog show for a year.)
He's talking to whichever of them will do his bidding LOL
Wait.
No.
Don't hold that thought.
Take it with you and bring me several of the biggest industrial strength lint rollers you can find.
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Really, the hardest part of it was getting wrapped up in the flypaper every morning.
Once that was taken care of, the constant rotating was kind of relaxing.
1/2
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What can I say?
I clean up nice.
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It's no wonder you catch every speck when you're so naturally attractive!
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please reimburse me sooner rather than later.
[She's been mostly cash for ages. That's the problem with getting smuggled in, you know?]
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Sure thing. Just tell me how much it is, and I'll e-pay or cash, whatever you want. I'll even tip.
[Dirk Strider has N99 problems but money isn't one of them.]
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Tosses my hair. Which in this moment is long enough to toss.
But these are just some of the natural gifts of the Binding domain. Chains, thread, magnets, attraction.
You could call me a real pick-up artist if you wanted.
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I'll go wrap a steamroller in flypaper and be back as soon as I can.
We will need some help getting the steamroller into the arcade.
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[Thankfully, she has enough padding in her pay packet for this, and odd jobs aren't exactly something she's unfamiliar with. Doing It Yourself is pretty much the motto of her family.]
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[He's full of energy and eager to get this started, so yes, he's just going to fucking guess at how much cash is needed--if he's wrong he can get more.
And yes--by the time Neos shows up, he's already waiting impatiently at the entrance.]
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[Tetrising that shit into proper place must have taken quite some time, regardless of how fast she got here.]
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They may have noticed.
So, until this exact second, he was reading the conversation between Glimmer and Pandora with some uncertainty--trying desperately to puzzle out which interpretation of what was happening was most probable and only convincing him further in both directions, to detriment of any possible conclusion.
This, however, he knows is hyperbole.]
Sounds like a you problem. Glimmer got the sofa in, right? I bet the two of you can put your heads together and figure something out.
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Of course, these days he also moves faster than the human eye, so in addition to free running his way across Chalra's rooftops and over its fences and through its alleys, he's literally several magnitudes faster than a bike, and significantly less hampered by gravity, traffic, road planning, and rights-of-way.
....he probably could not have done this while toting everything Neos is, however. At least not without needing several trips. At which point the question of whether Nova Pastos ever gets tired (without a week in the Abyss) would have been seriously tested.
He acknowledges none of this, though.
In fact, the first word out of his mouth when she arrives is this:]
Finally.
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you're not gonna get all glittered up instead of me now, are you?
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You're so right.
I guess I just have to flex my big strong muscles from all the exercise I do.
Me and Glimmer both. We're so physically buff it's not even funny actually.
This wiry computer nerd thing? Merely a clever disguise! We crush soda cans in our biceps.
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If I end up covered in tiny bits of shrapnel myself then it's only gonna be a coincidence. Or collateral damage.
I would never try to horn in on one of your many domains like that. (The domains of being cute and cool.) Wouldn't be especially just of me.
Why, I'd probably end up as some evil magistrate if I tried that.
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I'll get to wear a cool hat and a very imposing cape. And we'll get to have really cool fights.
So, like, who can say if it's bad?
As a matter of fact, while I'm out getting flypaper and a steamroller, I WILL pick up a cape. To look cool even when I don't have my scarf.
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capes are SO in this year
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I hope I'm not part of a secret energy-harvesting scheme that takes control of people through a series of increasingly silly capes!
MUST... SWOOSH... DRAMATICALLY...
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That would be scary. The Harbingers sneaking their way into our operations by actually getting some fashion sense instead of whatever Shelley's bringing to the table?
I'm shaking in my big silly boots.